


Merlin Plus Stocks Equals Fun For All

by Llama1412



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-05
Updated: 2011-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:30:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llama1412/pseuds/Llama1412
Summary: The People of Camelot really want Merlin in the stocks. Because he is fun to throw rotten fruit at.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68





	Merlin Plus Stocks Equals Fun For All

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on livejournal in 2010-2011. Posted unedited.

Once every two weeks, there was a parishioners session held specifically so that complaints and woes could be posed to Prince Arthur, to help him take over the responsibility of being king when the time came. Usually, Merlin was required to attend these sessions, just in case there was something Arthur could do right away, in which case he would order Merlin around and tell his people to order Merlin around.

This time, however, Gaius had needed his help and while Arthur dearly loved making Merlin uncomfortable, he could not begrudge the old man what little help Merlin could provide. As it turned out, perhaps that had been best. His people's complaints had been odd, to say the least.

It had started with a little girl, no more than nine. She had walked bravely right up to his chair, head held high as four other little children whispered words of encouragement. Arthur very much doubted that their parents were aware that they had been there and made a point to send a knight with them to ensure that they all got home safely.

But that was beside the point. It had started with the little girl walking up to him, kneeling awkwardly on the stone floor, and then saying bluntly that he should put Merlin back in the stocks.

Now, Arthur didn't really have a problem with putting Merlin in the stocks. It was quite amusing, even after all this time, and Merlin was a pretty good sport about it. He didn't scream at the people that threw things at him or threaten them with disembowelment, as previous laughingstocks had been know to do. He would grumble to Arthur and bring him cold food for a week or purposely forget to shine his boots or something, but other than that, his complaints were negligible, considering all the time he'd spent in the stocks.

Still, it was rather unexpected for people to request that Merlin be sent to the stocks just so that they could throw things at his head. After all, time in the stocks meant time he was unavailable to do his job and therefore earn his living (Merlin never spent the few wages he earned, Arthur knew for a fact, but it was the principle of things). That children should ask such of him could be seen as cruel.

"There was a thief in the stocks last week and he was so mean," the girl had pouted. "He only had three teeth and he kept smiling strangely at us around the tomatoes. And before that, there was a pickpocket that had this scary laugh. But Mer'n, Mer'n is nice. He smiles at us, but it's a nice smile. And he talks to us and tells us stories sometimes when we run out of food to throw and he tells us about what it's like in the caste and it's so cool! So...please? Can you please send Mer'n to the stocks? There aren't any potatoes out there this week, we promise." At the end of her spiel, her wide eyes had filled up with tears, her lower lip trembling.

Arthur had been at a loss. What was he supposed to do? "The stocks are meant to be a punishment. Merlin has to make an offense in order to be sent to the stocks."

"But...the other people that get sent to the stocks are scary! They're mean and ugly and really scary! One of them," she hiccuped then, "he said he was gonna find out who threw the potato that knocked out his teeth and find them. An' I...I threw it, sire. I knocked his teeth out. Mama said he wouldn't hurt me, that you wouldn't let him, but it was really scary an' I don' wanna go to the stocks anymore, not unless it's Mer'n. Mer'n isn't scary to throw stuff at an' he's fun. Please, sire?"

Arthur had resisted the urge to pinch his nose in frustration. "In a moment, you'll have to describe the appearance of the man who threatened you and we will see that he stays away from you. But for now, you are saying that if Merlin isn't in the stocks...you won't throw rotten food at people?"

"We won't either!" One of the boys in the back had shouted. "Er, sire."

"We won't! The men in there are mean! I don't wanna get yelled at just 'cause Mama says to empty out the rotten vegetable basket," another boy said.

"Please, sire," the only girl in the huddle of little children spoke, "Papa says that it's our duty to empty the basket and we want to do that, sire. But...they're scary. But not Mer'n. Mer'n isn't scary."

By that point, all the courtiers that had slipped into the audience chamber to watch him had been tittering with amusement, doing a poor job of hiding their smiles behind fans. One of Uther's advisers had approached Arthur. "Sire, this really isn't appropriate. This time is meant for citizens with real complaints, not children playing at a prank."

Arthur had glared at the adviser, but nonetheless, he had had no reasonable solution to give at the current time. "I'm afraid your audience has expired. If you'll wait in the next hall, I will get the description of the man who threatened you after your neighbors have made their complaints."

The girl in front of him had pulled a face, but was no longer crying. Arthur wondered if it had been a ploy or if little girls were really just that fickle with their emotions. She'd stomped away from him, cheeks puffed out in annoyance. The other children had followed her when she reached them, sending pouts over their shoulders at him. Arthur had given in to the temptation to groan, just for a second.

Now, he was standing in the hall next to the throne room, a guard standing by to spread word of the threatening man's appearance. Arthur doubted the man would actually do anything, but he wasn't going to risk it. The guards would match a name to the face that had been stuck in the stocks and keep a lookout for him. Perhaps Arthur could adjust the duty rosters of the knights and send one he trusted to watch over the girl and her family until the man could be found. If they were lucky, he could commit an offense and Arthur could throw him in the dungeons. If not, well, warnings given by knights tended to carry a fair amount of weight and Arthur would keep him with the girl for a few extra days just to make sure.

It would be a lot easier, though, if the girl would deign to stop pouting at him in that ridiculous way and tell him more about the man and less about how kind and lovely Merlin was.

"Look, kid, is this an I-miss-Merlin thing? Because if it is, I'm sure he would be glad to stop by and see you all, when he's not working, of course. Or is this an I-want-to-throw-things-at-Merlin's-head thing, because as fun as it is, he actually has to do something to deserve that," Arthur asked, pretty reasonably, he thought.

The girl disagreed, it seemed. "You don't get it. The other's are _scary_! Mer'n isn't! So Mer'n has to go to the stocks so we can empty the rotten fruit basket!"

Arthur closed his eyes and grit his teeth. He wouldn't snap at these kids. He didn't need Merlin accusing him of being an insensitive arse and scaring the children. "That really isn't how it works."

"Well it should be." The girl harrumphed, her hands planted on her hips and a look on her face that she'd probably learned from scoldings her mother had given her.

The sun was going to set soon outside and Arthur was hungry. He really didn't want to deal with this. "Okay, kid, why don't you lot come with me and talk to Merlin? Perhaps he'll be able to portray to you just how that really doesn't work."

The girl seemed suddenly timid. "We can...go with you? To see Merlin?"

"That is what I offered, yes. But first you are going to tell this guard here where to find your parents in order to inform them that you haven't been abducted."

Children's voices loudly argued over who the guard should go to first for a good five minutes while Arthur stood waiting, completely patient. Merlin had better be in his chambers when he got there, because if Arthur had to go looking for him with five rascals on his tail, he would not be happy at all. Also, Merlin should have his dinner by now, anyway. If he didn't, maybe Arthur really would put him in the stocks for these kids to abuse.

Merlin was in his chambers and he was completely unprepared for the three boys that tackled him and the two little girls, magically shy now that they weren't yelling at Arthur, that hid behind the prince's legs, smiling at Merlin. Oh Lord, Arthur realized, they were crushing on him. On _Merlin_. What was the world coming to when children's tastes were so bad?

Eventually, the girls emerged from behind Arthur and dove in to hug Merlin, chatting with him at a rapid pace. Arthur sat down, poking at the food Merlin had actually managed to bring for him and didn't at all resent being ignored.

When Merlin directed a dazzling smile at the prince, children hanging off his arms and shoulders, Arthur found that he really didn't mind having put up with the children all day long. Not if it meant Merlin bestowed that kind of attention on him.


End file.
